"I Promise" are these just words spoken? Ever help an individual, and the first thing out of their mouth is "I promises I'll......."? Recently I helped someone not expecting the favor or act to be returned. However this person on their own accord said " I promise I will return....." I thought well if they do great, if not that is ok too. Well come to find out the entire story was a lie. I was left wondering why did this person feel the need to lie to make a promise they fully knew they could not keep. To help you understand why I am so baffled here is what I did for this person. I noticed a middle aged lady walking on an extremely hot day. She looked about ready to faint, and I offered her a ride to Walmart (this was on my way to where I was going) There she could wait, in air conditioning. In the process I stopped at McDonalds and bought her a cold ice tea ($1.00). she never asked for the ride or the drink. She did ask to use my cell phone, which my minutes were free, and she was able to get a hold of someone from out by Gun Lake to come get her. Her story was (which she gave without me asking) was that her car broke down. She had a pay check in her lap. Turns out she worked with someone I knew. Well we arrived at Walmart, her ride coming, and she asked if she could borrow some money for gas until the next night (she promised). I gave her no more then I could afford to not get back.
Turns out this person was fired from their job, and never owned a car, and I never saw nor heard from that person again. I am not upset over the fact I will not see the gas money again, but rather over why make the promise?
This lead me to think of other promises made. The leaders of the country, of our state, of our county. Just out in the news is John Edwards affair. He denied this action for years even when he was caught running into restroom to hide.
I am a firm believer that society today has lost all of its values. We no longer teach our children table manners, I would go as far as to say that 90% could not set a proper table setting. Kids no longer fess up to the wrong doing to others (face to face apologies) I remember once I tagged along with my grandfather to his "store". During our little outing, I ran across a gumball. I was like 4 years old. Upon leaving the store, my grandfather noticed me chewing on the gum. He asked where I got that. My intention was not to steal, but rather I thought it was my grandfathers store, must be HIS gumballs. Within the next 5 minutes I learned darn well who owned what and where! He immediately took me back into the store, made me spit the gumball out, and I had to apologize to the clerk. I have never forgotten to ask first! He never yelled, spanked, or spoke of i t again. I learned. Values in that short amount of time have changed.
So what makes a person give a promise they do not intend to keep? Does this act make them feel better. Or do they figure they will get what they want. Is society so stingy that people can not get help without a good lie?
I am a firm believer that if I can help someone I will. I am not a millionaire, my spare time is at a all time low. If I can give someone a meal, help mow their lawn, any deed that I can help with I will. I do not expect anything in return, not even the promise. My youngest and I went to Detroit. This being the first trip to a large city we ran into homeless. We ate and had leftovers. A homeless lady wanted some money and my youngest wanted to. I told her if she wanted to help we could go get a meal for the lady. This lady did not want the meal but rather just a nickel?! I had to explain to my daughter that we can do what we can and the offer of food should have been greatly appreciated.
So what has happen to society? Foreclosures are at a all time high. Why can not people share homes? Why can not lenders "work" with folks going through a rough patch. Elderly are not respected, more treated as a hindrance. Poor are looked upon as leeches. Where are the days when neighbors aided each other, or even knew the neighbors names? Where churches were families, and when someone knocked on your door for a meal you would make them a sandwich and not call the police.
Promises........... "Society"
23 comments:
Ok, bebe, that's a good place to start.
To begin with, you need to explain what you mean by "society". If you mean Michigan society that is one thing, and if you mean USA society, that is another, and if you are talking about all of us in the entire world (which we need to get used to) that is something else.
When you or I generalize and talk about "people" we have to include ourselves in the whole mob. So, your question is really about why you and I tell lies. You might want to object and say you don't lie, but I know that I don't always tell the "whole truth". Sometimes I don't even know the whole truth. I even find myself being wrong sometimes.
Suppose the folks in your stories were ashamed of their poverty. That's a tough spot to be in. Your words sound like you have lost a lot of faith in the goodness of humanity, but imagine having to admit that you don't make enough money to make ends meet and have so little self-esteem that you don't think this wealthy stranger will give you anything if they can't get something in return. What if you are so afraid of rejection that you just can't take another disappointment, today? Would you say, "Please give me as much money as you can, but don't expect to ever see it again"? Not a very good sales pitch. Perhaps the "gas money" was to pay her friend who was going to come to her rescue, because neither of them have any money.
In the USA, where we value people based on the amount of money they have, a person with no money has no value. How depressing!
In many other countries, not having any money is the normal condition. People value each other on a different basis.
Your acts of generousity increased your value in the world.
El G
looks like we are the only ones left after the primaries!
I was including myself in the we people.
So why does sociaety (more in the US) make people that are in poverty feel this way? I was not upset at this person (was the incident as ss an example) I just did not understand the need to lie about the whole story just to receive a little help, that this person was getting with no questions asked.
I have lost faith in humanity, it is hard to find anywhere. I find people ungrateful, unrespectful, no manners, and with no morales.
bebe,
Our culture in the USA has suffered some serious setbacks as a result of a great many unhealthy influences and a general lack of leadership vision, and an erosion of traditional behavior models.
I hope that you read this in time to mute the volume of your TV and watch the Olympics while listening to some cheerful music on a radio or CD player. Take note of what the Chinese have done with thousands of performers and participants. The media would try to divert your attention to a few whack-jobs who always will show up in a gathering of thousands of people, or claim that the opening spectacles were not organically pure (For example, the "footprints" were an illusion. Personally, I wouldn't care if they were made of toilet paper and flashlights, I got goose-pimples at the creativity). Focus on the smiles, the grace, the manners, the general attitude of cooperation. A reporter from Ch.8 remarked that he had a constant group of Chinese helpers eagerly trying to anticipate his every possible need. They want to nourish a feeling of behavioral excellence. Some "sourpusses" will immediately jump up and shout "Fake!", but the reality is "Fake it till you make it", and "Act enthusiastic, and you will be enthusiastic"(Carnegie).
Perhaps I am naive, but I totally believe that humanity is destined to evolve until the end result is universal love. For many years, the USA was the role model for this evolution. Perhaps we have lost the right to lead this evolution. Certainly, the Chinese have been gaining world dominance and they seem to want to be role models of the behaviors that we admire.
Just as I thought the current administration had done as much damage as conceivably possible, today it was announced that the White House is going to try to gut the Endangered Species Act because it gets in the way of contractors and developers. If McCane is successful in replicating Bush, put big money on the world being lead by the Chinese in the future. Violent resolutions of conflict are not appropriate in an evolving culture.
On the local scene, as long as we have this space to ourselves, certain people have been re-elected by voters that fall into the category of fear-based violence. There will be another period of struggle for programs that are "outside of the box", and perhaps even an effort to build a Taj Mahal for the gun-nuts. We have a few quiet programs that are phenomenally successful as a result of a few visionaries, and a few more programs that will germinate and bloom if and when visionary leadership emerges. I don't see the specific people on the County Board who can get things moving, but perhaps some new blood will surprise me. At least the current "leadership" should be capable of preserving the status quo until visionary leadership shows up.
We have those techniques developed to a science.
By the way, if you visit my blogsite, I have posted links to full texts of some of the most valuable agreements of our generation. While the USA has tried to avoid cooperating with the rest of the world on these for various reasons (excuses), world leadership will transfer to whoever adopts these thoughts and steps out in front.
El G
I am not much of a TV watcher. I am usually outside, or fixing up something.
I did catch a small glimpse of the opening ceremonies. I agree faked or not it was splendid!
I always take the news reports with a grain or two of salt. I find them to report what sells and not the whole story or even all the news. The local radio station reports more out of area news then local.
The US is a group of people who want it now, no matter cost, and whatever is most convenience. Bottle water for example!
I do my best to not do something for convenience. I try to be a good neighbor to all, and teach my children.
How long do you think we will be alone?
What is your impression of Russia and Georgia?
I'm not much into history, but I was forced to study war a bit in my youth. If I was being paid to be a military strategist, I would not waste my time telling Russia to stop their advancing army after they had crossed into South Ossetia and the Georgian army was pulling back to re-group (unless I was good buddies with the George-ians, and wanted to save my weapons and ammunitions that I had just delivered and trained them to use, or if returning their 2000 trained soldiers would mean that I had to send 2000 more husbands from the USA to replace them).
The Russian Army, once committed to an invasion, had to push the retreating force hard enough to force them to abandon the weapons we had supplied and run for their lives.
Our politicians shouted and performed their dances from the Olympic grandstands, but they knew this was just a show for the gullible.
I hate to give away my spin, for fear that McCane will catch on and claim it as his own, but the time for persuasion and diplomacy was when the decision was made to send in our Marines about a month or so ago. Instead of encouraging the Georg-ians to perform various acts of violence inside South Ossetia, we should have been trying to help the two"break-away" independent countries to succeed in being recognized as humans to be left alone. (I taught friends in Costa Rica the expression "shoulda, coulda, woulda" in English. Philosophically it seems to be a common excuse).
George wants Georg-ia to become a member of NATO, an obsolete and violent organization that creates hostility and instability all over the world, like the CIA and Blackwater USA.
What he shoulda been doing is helping to dissolve the U.N.Security Council with its perpetual stonewalling veto power, and helping to enter all of the little vulnerable independent countries to gain membership in the U.N.General Assembly.
The reason that Republicans keep asking us if we want to be controlled by U.N. generals is to create a fear that if we (and Russia) lose the ability to wage war against littler countries they will gang up on us and try to get back their lunch money that we stole. This invasion is another example of the proof of this, because there is no way the General Assembly can act against Russia, or any other current member of the U.N.Security Council.
Every literate person in the rest of the world knows all of this, but they have not been isolated from the "whole truth". If you think for a second that our media is not manipulated, start reading the writings of a former employee of the Banner in the Kazoo Gazette. As good as oatmeal may be for my health, pablum is not to my taste.
Looks like the "fake" is really hitting headlines now. I guess you were right. WHy do people soon forget other instances where replacement better looking or computer generated ads were done?
Russia and Georgia is also getting worse. I guess this is the excuse for the raise from 3.79 to 3.95 in gas in some places.
Gas prices totally confuse me! The price is done on barrels and prices have gone up per gallon.
Still just you and me!
Can hear twigs snappin in the woods,,,,but no one there.
I'm not an expert, but...
The focus on barrel prices of crude oil is a distraction. Very few people follow those prices other than speculators and media folks. Even fewer understand the significance. Of course, any change in the price of crude will have some effect, but you would be just as well off keeping track of what a dairy farmer gets paid for his raw milk (not much).
I think a barrel is 55-gallons, so crude at $110 is $2/gal. At $3 a gallon, a barrel costs $165. Transportation and refining cost don't change with the fluctuation.
Gasoline is a byproduct of the refining process of oil, not a really significant product. The price at the pump is determined by the huge number of middle-persons between the well and the station.
I heard that gasoline is very cheap in Venezuela, because they refine their own crude and ship a lot of finished products.
Did you see where the highway folks are crying because we aren't buying as much gas so they don't have as much to spend on roads?
Wait till we really get smart and start riding buses. There will be more efficient buses, more frequent schedules, more routes to choose from, and lots of really cool people to chat with.
I hear screaming in the woods. I think it is car insurance salespeople.
I there was better transportation in Barry County I would definately use it. I walk to close stores already. I try to recycle and not a great deal of Products made with oil (styrofoam etc) I wish I could ride share to work or bus, but there is no busing from here to there, and to find a person who is going that wat at that time, and that is "safe" is hard to do.
I truely enjoy chatting with you.
Please do not get me started on insurance!
Perhaps we will need to organize a regular bus trip and have lunch and then return, just to create a demand cycle for the Barry Transit.
What are your daily needs?
BCT runs to a different community each weekday, on a regular schedule.
I'm hardly one to offer advice, since you have attracted one more blogger than I have, but perhaps a new post would spark some interest. WMP has died, shriveled and blown away, and my el-grillo site isn't of local interest.
Maybe a short post on why the BCtransit still operates under the federal/state restrictions when we also provide some generous millage and should be able to demand services outside of the inane outside influences.
Joe Bleam would be happy to give his spin if you wanted to chat with him.
I transport out of the county five days a week.
The Transit would need to expand greatly to meet the needs of Barry County.
The are many younger folks with no transportation needing rides to work.
Here are a few ideas:
1) daily drop off and pick ups at MDOT ride shares.
2) Daily pick up and drop off to various work places within the county.
3) Why not a bi weekly trip to GR for people needing to shop (groceries, Doctor visits, etc)
I believe right now the transit only goes to Middlevile once a week and Nashville once a week.
I know someone who was born and will never be off of Social Security. He receives Medicaid, and there are no Dentist here in Barry County he can see. His AFC would charge him 10.00 per hour, and I think 58 cents a mile to take him to a dentist. Nearest one being 45 miles away. Seeing he only has 44 dollars month I do not foresee him receiving any dental care. Ashame.
Assuming that your friend is capable of "independent living", and could take a bus by himself, the largest users of our current system are using the system for health or educational purposes.
It is called an "on demand" system that will pick up your friend according to any arrangement that he has set up in advance, by easily calling the dispatcher number. The cost is ridiculously low.
The problem is bureaucratic. In our socialistic country, where the rules are set by legislation, our transit service is currently limited to the artificial and imaginary lines around our county. The state regulations imagine that leaving the county is never necessary. There was actually a situation where the Barry bus would transfer passengers to an Eaton bus to complete the trip to Charlotte, at the county lines out in the hinterlands. Really irresponsible legislation, by the folks who represent our best interests, that we elected.
I was just looking at a development in Cody, Wyoming where the state of Wyoming has facilitated subsidized bus travel for dialysis(sp)
to Billings, Montana. Maybe Rep. Calley could look into this issue when he has solved the problem of caffiene in "energy" drinks.
The problem with the internet is that we no longer are confined in our thinking to what is being allowed by the folks who would control our thinking. We can look around and see what other communities are already doing with great success.
A sensible economic development for the City of Hastings would be to recognize our greatest asset which is our location as a hub with spokes radiating out to four major metropolitan cities. Not being able to connect these four dots to the one in the center is really myopic. I know, for example that I can catch a bus at the Woodland Mall and at the Borgess Hospital bus stops. Why I can't get that far by bus from Hastings is pure silliness. In just those examples, it would be advantageous for Caledonia and Richland to be bus transfer points, but they are on the other side of the bureaucratic walls. Imagine a bus stop at the intersection of US-131 and Gun Lake Road beyond Bradley (Maybe at the front door of the new casino?). Regular service could connect the metropolitan transportation centers of Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo.
While the transit service has dedicated Wednesday for Middleville, if you wanted to go there any other day they would make an arrangement to take you. Just call.
Well, we've chatted about the future of transportation in Barry County.
Another item that will demonstrate our leadership vision (or lack thereof) is the whole issue of incarceration.
We usually recognize the hazards of generalizing about groups of people, but when we lock up our "criminals" we treat them pretty much as a separate class of citizens, and assume that they will never return to society.
Each morning on WBCH we can hear how many folks are in the slammer,but I often wonder how many of these are identical, numbered and nameless.
I wonder how much it would cost to build a dormitory for the non-violent incarcerated people? How secure? If I fully understood the consequences of trying to leave without permission (ie. spending the rest of my sentence in a County Jail cell), you can bet that I would be a model citizen.
I know a great place that it could be built, and there would be plenty of opportunities to learn skills and to study for G.E.D. etc.
The question for the well-informed County Commissioner to know the answer to is:
"How many of our prisoners:
(1) are a threat to society, or
(2) require constant supervision, or
(3) are non-violent and have the potential to be rehabilitated?"
This is on the same line as the Brian Nanny bill We wear seat belts to what...protect ourselves, we wear helmets why? To protect ourselves. We are forced to carry insurance why.....it is all the same ole same ole. Folks who are in the county jail "normally" are not threats to society. MOst crimes of two years and under are illegal drug use, chils support arrears, simple assaults, domestics etc.
Here is where society comes into play again. Anyone who has spent time in the slammer will forever have to place that on any application. Most employers throw those out, and "society" basically shuns them. They get the run around for housing, and jobs. They struggle so hard wityh little or no help they just revert back to crime. A vicious cycle.
What would happen if, instead of repeating the same old actions and expecting different results, we were to enter these "non-violent offenders" in a counseling program that included an education segment, an employment training segment, an anger management segment, a "conflict resolution without resorting to violence" segment, a motivation segment that awarded increasing responsibility to those who accepted increasing accountability, and most importantly a segment devoted to alcohol and drug rehabilitation?
What would happen if this was not conducted in the dungeon, but instead was conducted in a supervised environment that featured a dormitory like we used to see on college campuses (before liberalization) with strict behavioral expectations and self-contained services (kitchen, dining, laundry, etc. like on a ship of the Navy)?
What would happen if part of the deal was operation of a restaurant or other attraction that served the public with exemplary service?
What would happen if the above facility was built on property already owned by Barry County, using non-violent offenders as a labor force under the supervision of a qualified general contractor who didn't expect to get rich quick?
What would happen if we spent the $40-$50 a day per non-violent offender in this way, instead of just operating a revolving door? What would happen if the record of emprisonment was changed to a record of successful completion of a "supervised societal improvement, constructive application and personal development program"?
I think we would empty about half of our existing jail cells, which would allow us to rent out the space to less enlightened counties (incidentally, we are currently giving away the space at half-price, and hardly covering our costs. Great management concept. Reminds me of an old joke about increasing your sales volume to offset your losses.)
Here's the deal-killer. What would happen if we hired a full-time director of Charlton Park that had the balls to allow such a project to happen on a part of the 300 acres that is growing weeds. Can you imagine a "working organic farm" that had animals and used lots of manual labor the way things were done at the turn of the old century? So what if the farming wasn't profitable? The "park" is not profitable, anyway, and struggles to be mildly interesting to any large number of visitors. A nice restaurant meal and a buggy ride through an orchard might be fun. God forbid that we might have a campground or a hotel with a clientele that enjoyed seminars or conferences.
My dear, I am sorry to hear of your trouble. Regardless of the underlying true issue in your specific situation. The old handshake "I Promise" is fading away.
Could it be that we are indeed going back to the parenting issue thanks to Brian Calley?
I look at this from a jaded perspective. We have lost community accountability. I actually don't have to raise my kids to be decent people because we have government programs to take over when they grow up.
I CARE if my kids go to jail so I am doing my best to raise them to make decisions that prevent this from happening. If for some reason my best intentions are for naught, I will be devastated because I CARE. Many people are in jail because they should be. So many others could benefit from Grillo's idea of rehab. So many of them are good people who have to learn in spite of their parents, not because of them. Unfortunately, when they are adults.
El, I love your idea of turning Charlton Park into a community farm. Will you chair the first committee meeting?
jm,
The idea of rehab is not mine. We have a system in place, here in Barry County, that is a marvel of success and the credit goes to Judge Fisher, Jim and Jeff Westra, Ex-Sheriff DeBoer, and a host of others (not to mention the 85% of those enrolled who work their butts off to be successful graduates of the program!) Detractors like to focus on the 15%who don't make it.
We don't need to start a new committee to bury this idea with. The structure is already in place and merely lacks leadership.
Beginning with the County Commission who will soon approve the Budget for 2009, huge amounts of funds are allocated to both the "Courts and Law Enforcement" community and the County-wide "Park(s) and Recreation" Committee. I haven't done the math, lately, but the money is already there.
Each of the parts of the concept are potential profit-centers or revenue-savers, so the net long-range benefit would be more service for less taxes. (Without even factoring the huge cost of a new jail or dungeon or concentration camp.)
The Parks and Recreation Commission is supposed to be the master policy and vision driver of much more vision than just micro-managing Charlton Park, but....
... it ain't the way we always did it....
The Charlton Park Board was subverted a few years back and hasn't fully recovered. They have done a wonderful job of starting to heal the damage that was done, but doing anything more than what has been done in the past is asking a great deal with a part-time overseer. The Park has no incentive to think outside of the box, and have been rewarded with just enough money to continue "business as usual", running the operation at a subsidized loss.
Summing up, the responsibility of the County Board does not end with voting on the Budget for next year. That is a task for the village idiot. We expect them to be thinking about the future of the County in broad terms, and empowering people who will be willing to consider "change".
Next, it is the responsibility of the Parks Commission to give direction to the Charlton Park Board, who are responsible for carrying out the above visions and policies.
At this point, the tail wags the dog.
Moving on, do you ever wonder why communities offer tax breaks to companies to get them to relocate and hire some local people? Makes sense doesn't it?
What would happen if we also offered to provide a workforce of inexpensive laborers?
Since we already pay $40-$50 a day to warehouse a number of non-violent offenders, while dumbing them down, suppose we offer to pay $20-$25 a day to a company that would teach them to show up for work, be involved in the process, perform supervised tasks, etc.
Suppose we had regular transportation between the dormitory and the factory in a transit bus. Do you suppose some of the child-support might be paid?
Perhaps getting a tax-free deal could have some strings attached.
Our high qualified personnel take care about you and your business when it comes to web development for Brisbane market. We are providing to our clients web development services in order to
attract viewers, to help them promoting their products or services. To succeed in offering web development to the customers in Brisbane, we use all our resources and all our skills.
web design Brisbane
Brisbane web design
seo brisbane
ecommerce Brisbane
social marketing Brisbane
web development Brisbane
Magento developer brisbane
content marketing Brisbane
http://www.knd.com.au
Aussie Boat Loans offers a wide range of products and one of them is boat insurance that provide a loan protection insurance or extended warranty. Boat insurance guaranties you the protection in case of accidental loss, damages, properties , death or injuries. Aussie Boat Loans has the enthusiastic customer service to listen to your needs in order toimprove our boat insurance service .
boat insurance
boat lease
boat leasing
boat loan interest rates
boat finance interest rates
boat financing
boat loan financing
boat loans
boat finance
marine finance
boat loan calculator
boat finance calculator
boat loans calculator
boat finance rates
boat loans australia
boat finance australia
used boat loans
new boat loans
http://www.aussieboatloans.com.au
If you choose to get caravan insurance you should come to Aussie Leisure Loans. The caravan insurance was conceived thinking about you. Caravan insurance option will make you and your family feel safe. Even if you are careful on the roads, the accidents happen and the caravan insurance that we offer comes with protection and reliability.
caravan insurance
Caravan lease
caravan finance
caravan loans
caravan leasing
caravan loan calculator
caravan loans australia
http://www.aussieleisureloans.com.au
Expert Training va ofera o gama variata de cursuri acreditate si cursuri calificare. Va asteptam.
--------------------
curs calificare
inspector resurse umane
cursuri acreditate
Curs calificare inspector resurse umane
http://www.experttraining.ro
Aussie Car Loans are the experts in getting you the best deal in car finance when it comes to the purchase of a new or a used vehicle. To help the customers, Aussie Car Loans has offered for more than ten years the finance options that match to the wishes of the clients including personal car finance and business finance. Car finance option provides you a deal which will fit better to you situation
car insurance
car finance
car loans for self employed
aussie car loans
bad credit car loan
cheap car loans
bad credit car finance
second chance car loans
car loan protection
car loan online application
http://www.aussiecarloans.com.au
If what you need is a change in your life to feel confident, prettier and healthy, our cosmetic clinic will provide you high quality services to make you feel all that. In order to achieve that our qualified team from cosmetic clinic will take care of you and indirectly rebuilding the self - confidence. Our cosmetic clinic stuff will handle it with maximum discretion.
--------------------
Income protection Insurance
Trauma Insurance
TPD insurance
Life Insurance Brisbane
http://www.lifequotes.com.au
Working with skilled house builders from Brisbane we took our projects to a high level of performance. Our clients have the benefit of enjoying their new home with doing anything. The house
builders in Brisbane are ecognized by excellent work that they have done creating exclusive and unique places to live in. You have to tell us your dreams, and with the help of our house builders from Brisbane will make it become true.
house builders brisbane
home builder brisbane
home renovations Brisbane
http://www.olemus.com.au
Thinking about your needs and desires we developed special services when it comes to accommodation Brisbane CBD. We offer you accommodation Brisbane CBD special packages that conceived just for you, our customers in order to choose the best. The accommodation Brisbane CBD has trained stuff that will make you journey easier and relaxing.
--------------------
brisbane hotels
hotel accommodation brisbane
accommodation brisbane cbd
hotel brisbane cbd
http://www.rothburyhotel.com.au
Post a Comment